...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
