just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
