sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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