So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
