Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
