Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
