youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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