i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
