your parents love me but you hate me
okay pat passed out under dana's car
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
