Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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