Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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