I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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