Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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