can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it's like iHOP with fire
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
