Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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