Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize