I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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