I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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