grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
