It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
