i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
