she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
