Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
