In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize