hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
