There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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