you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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