HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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