I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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