I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
