We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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