i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
