things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize