If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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