So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
