i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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