Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
