I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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