guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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