5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you win again, gameday.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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