ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My bed smells like the plague
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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