I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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