In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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