i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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