oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
