we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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