I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
