Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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