There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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