I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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