who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
