Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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