his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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