1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i am craving dick and cupcakes
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
