This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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