My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
