where am i from again
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got inside last night via doggy door
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
