woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
