We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
