Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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