She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
When are your genitals available?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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