4 words: hood of his car
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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